I’ve said for years that ‘art saved my life’. Having an art practice, paints, time, space, inspiration… And it saved my kids from what could have maybe been a horrible version of me: a me without a creative outlet.
"The only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person, is by creative work of her own. There is no other way." ~ Betty Friedan
When I was raising my two boys, I was dedicated to playing with them, being there almost every minute, every meal, every nursing session, every nap. I embedded myself into their lives and theirs into mine. I loved it. Almost all the time.
But sometimes I felt like I could jump out of my skin. Those sweet precious faces gave me so much, but I needed something else, too – I needed something MINE.
I was an artist before I gave birth, and I kept it going afterwards, even just in little dribbles. Drawing at the table with a tiny toddler drawing next to me; painting on a canvas with a (sometimes naked) child in my arms; cooing, talking, stories, swaying… but painting. Creating.
It was wonderful. Being able to be a devoted, doting mama, AND a painter, the collections kept me kicking.
And truly, art saved me. My mom remembers me calling her when the boys were tiny (they are only 19.5 months apart, so they were truly both babies) and saying that I wished I could just run away. But of course, I wouldn’t, couldn’t. I once went to the movies by myself, and it was divine.
Mostly, I would wait 'til bath, book, breast and bedtime were complete, and then I would run away to my laundry room where I had set up a workbench between the sink and the dryer.
I would plug my ipod into my head and sing and paint until I was washed clean and ready for the next day.
This has always been a live-saving practice that I couldn’t prove... but this week I (finally) finished reading The Feminine Mystique, written in 1963 by Betty Friedan. It’s a dense one, so it took me awhile to get through. It’s a controversial book, but also packed with ‘you see me’ moments that I didn’t realize I would encounter.
(written in 1963) “Each suburban wife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries… ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children… she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question — 'Is this all?'” ~ Betty Friedan
Betty questions gender roles, societal expectations, and her book started a conversation about women’s experiences and the expectation for them to spend a majority of their time in the home: parenting, wifing, cleaning, mothering, cooking. What makes The Feminine Mystique a controversial book? This.
For years we’ve heard that ‘the hours spent doing housework went UP after the invention of appliances…’ but I never heard WHY. Did you? Betty tells us. å
This is one of my favorite paragraphs in the book:
“The first step is to see housework for what it is – not a career, but something that must be done as quickly and efficiently as possible. Once a woman stops trying to make cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, “something more”, she can say “no, I don’t want a stove with rounded corners, I don’t want four different kinds of soap” … then she can use the vacuum and the dishwasher and all the automatic appliances… for what they are truly worth – to save time that can be used in more creative ways.”
For years we’ve been told we need a different specialized cleaner for the counters, the sinks, the toilet, the mirrors (we use the same homemade cleaner for ALL things at my house), but we don’t, and Betty tells us WHY we are marketed to in this way. åå
I found the book very interesting. Like ‘sit in my chair digesting it page by page for hours’, interesting. But I also found some parts one-sided and old-minded, and completely unacceptable (in regard to race, SES and sexual-orientation, including some brash disrespect of lesbians). I like to think/hope that we’ve come a long way in the last 60 years.
However, I feel I understand now why ‘art saved me’.
And I hope that YOU have something for YOU, as well. Is it art? Is it studying? Is it gardening? Is it a business, a charity, a career, a personal goal, a community need?
Do you want to color something for the sake of washing out your own soul? I have free color pages, and a coloring book.
HAVE SOMETHING.
And read this book if you have the hours to do so. Because it is worthwhile.
Every page of this book, and indeed basically every day of my life for the last 20 years, I have been grateful for a creative practice.
And grateful for YOU, my collectors, my friends, my community. For partaking in my practice, for choosing to own the results of my hard work, for playing along and for connecting. THANK YOU.
May my soul-rush of painting inspire
and give rise to YOUR billowing soul!
Wishing you a beautiful week's end ♥
Love & Sincerely,
Katie
å in my understanding, it was because instead of sweeping only the dining room that was dirty, if we had our vacuum on, we'd go ahead and vacuum the dining room, the living room, the kitchen AND the entry way. It was 'easier' to wash bedsheets and towels with a machine, for instance, so we began to wash them more often than necessary.
åå as I understand, in an attempt to infuse complexity into the whole system, and to make the housewife feel like she was intelligent and capable of creative solutions, that she was doing work that was really important and required education, marketers created multiple products and varied systems for getting the cleaning and laundry done. Different soaps, sorting laundry, different tools and such.
A sneak peek at a new collection I am working on - the first 3 pieces, two more in progress. They will release in February, but I'm not opposed to sending them home early if they speak to you ♥
